A few conversations recently have inspired me to write about HOME. I was speaking with a new friend who originated from North America but had been working and living abroad, especially in Asia, for many years. We were speaking about how, after a while, it seems that even though the passport says one thing, it feels as though one is living without a national culture – or maybe a hybrid, to say the least.
I know that one of my favourite sayings is “wherever you go, there you are” and many people come to me to help them find the ‘old me’ or their ‘real self’ – well it’s time to go home to find out.
There’s No Place Like Home
I love the “Wizard of Oz” – it really is a hypnosis story – and I recall Dorothy tapping her ruby slippers together, saying “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”, simply to realise that home was surrounding her during the whole journey. Home for us is actually where we live and think, it rests within us, in our minds. That’s where real home is. No matter how far you travel “the zen you find at the top of the mountain is the zen you bring there”. You don’t have to go anywhere to go home. We carry it inside us, with our subconscious thoughts, beliefs and experiences.
Not an Island
I saw a commercial that asked what it would be like to live on a tiny island you couldn’t get off, with limited resources… and then introduced the idea that the globe is a tiny island that we inhabit. Powerful and true (please recycle), but not applicable to our minds. Within our (mind) homes are mental resources that are limitless – we are always learning, experiencing and living more – there is no end to the possibilities and opportunities. If we believe those who’d like to keep us “within our limits” then we suddenly have them. But that is not the mental destiny for the explorers, the entrepreneurs, and the doers or discoverers – who happen to have the same sort of model of home we have – just with a stereo system playing a different drummer that drowns out the nay-sayers and the fearful.
So often we wonder why it feels like “the lights are on but no one is home”. Like our houseboat always seems to be on stormy seas. You know that feeling – that it’s the beginning to break apart, that we’ve hit our limits. However we can use our limitations, or perceived limitations, to our advantage. When we hear the warning bells of a ‘weak link’ it gives an opportunity to discover what we need to work on, what we need to develop. This ‘broke’ part allows us to fix ourselves – and create wonderful additions or renovations to our homes.
I had to look up the definition again for ‘self-possession’, which means full command of one’s faculties, feelings and behaviours – I often mistake self-possession with self-centredness! And every time I clear that definition up, I always think it is a great word, a great concept. Now while people wouldn’t be too thrilled if their material homes were repossessed, repossessing, or self-possessing our own homes (from the inside out) is something important to consider. Home is more than where the heart is. We have complete control over our thoughts, our feelings, our actions – we own them, but often we forget that we’re the landlord and allow squatters or unwanted visitors in the form of outside influenced negativity to trespass on our home.
If we start paying attention to our own home the way we pay attention to our other valuable possessions, most people might be surprised at how their actions and reactions shift – to take back real possession and control. Call it a mental spring cleaning and clear out all the unwanted clutter, or place a welcome mat out with the addendum “all supporters only”. As always, it is a responsibility to take full possession and care of something, but the rewards and returns, especially in the case of complete self-possession are well worth it. Welcome home.
Take care and have a wonderful April.