Just thought I’d get an early note in before the Chinese New Year (CNY) holidays. And as it is the Year of the Dog, I was thinking about how ‘man’s best friend’ is often a symbol of loyalty, honesty, and unconditional love.
At the same time I realised that over the years of this newsyletter, I have never talked about love in the month of February. And with the 14th, the day of chocolates and roses, approaching, I thought that it would be a good time to do so.
Love is patient, love is kind… love changes everything… there are a million songs and stories about love. But what does it mean to the mind – to the world inside us and the world around us.
Love is Hypnotic. Have you ever seen two people in ‘new’ love? The one can see absolutely nothing wrong with the other person – not a thing. How is that possible, with our natural range of human foibles? When people fall in love, they bypass the critical, list-making conscious mind (which often comes back with a vengeance later on in relationships) and hooks up with that great feeling, love, that is located in the subconscious mind (where all our beliefs, behaviours and emotions are) and glosses over all the weak points and frailties of a person, instead to see the potential of another.
Love is to Look for the Good. Some great teachers make the concept of love very simple. They see love as “to look for the good” – in a person, in an event or situation, or place. To look for the good – means to temper that critical and destructive voice that focuses (and enlarges) the imperfect and, instead, discovers the potential, promise and perfection that lies within everyone and everything. I don’t believe in absolute evil, so there is good to find everywhere. One of the most important and most overlooked versions of ‘love’ is that reflection within, to discover our own personal good. So often we focus on the goofs, the ‘what if I had(n’t)…’, the hurts (and hurting of others), that our perspective of ourselves is so skewed that we forget about the wonderfulness, lovability and goodness that is really who we are – mistakes and all.
Love Forgives and Trusts. When we truly look for the good in loving, we learn to forgive our and others mistakes and past errors more easily. Even in the worst of circumstances, love and forgiveness can reveal the seeds of lessons and truths that help to release us from the holds of pain, hurt, anger, guilt and fear. The ‘looking’ love is NOT blind – it also see when trust is misplaced, but more easily concentrates on the positive points within others so that trust, and relationships in every aspect of life, can bloom.
Love is a precious Gift to be Given. I encourage everyone to take the opportunity in the next few days to tell people you love that you love them (I think that speaking well to others around the CNY time also has historic significance). Compliment your colleagues, friends, your taxi driver. Send thoughts to those who added to your life in the past, even if you can’t track them down to tell them. Imbue your thoughts, words and actions with love. Whether the words are ‘I Love You’ or ‘I really appreciate the work you put in on this project’, those sent from a place of love (looking for good) can be heard and appreciated at a different and deeper level. Acts of goodness and love are rewarded in themselves – not on a small scale, but on an ever increasing flow that opens us and others.
Love is Good for Health. Physically love gets our endorphins going which gives us greater energy, better immunity, less of a likelihood to do harm to ourselves (like overeat or forego exercise), and makes us more attractive/attracting (a double whammy for both social and business life). When we feel good, we think more clearly, act with greater internal integrity, and look out from ourselves to discover more options and possibilities, which can only be good for life and the world in general.
Love is Good for ‘Business’. Love schmove – give me a break, love can be expressed to friends and family but the workplace isn’t a place in which to get lovey dovey. Think again. Love connects. You are more apt to forgive and trust someone you love, and wouldn’t that be a great situation to have with clients or contractors? In Tim Sanders book “Love is the Killer App” he expounds that by sharing love and the emotional potential within people, that business not only gets ‘nicer’ but better, more productive, with longer and more powerful relationships.
So whether at work or play, love can enhance your life. Looks good, right?
All my wishes for a healthy and loving new year.