As we ramp up to the New Year, people are already starting to think about areas in their lives they may want to change in 2018. In a very simplified way, many of these hopes for change are proposed in very similar ways – “I want to exercise/relax/study more…” or “I want to procrastinate/eat/watch TV less…”
So I see a lot of people who would like to start or advance something as well as those who would like to slow or stop something – that something usually being a behavior, thought, mindset, feeling, sensation, response, or pattern.
Are there easier ways to get more or less in your life, using the power of your subconscious mind? Let’s explore more…
What we focus on, we tend to get more of…
This is a very basic but very important rule of the mind. Wherever we focus our attention, THAT seems to get bigger in our awareness. When we are looking to buy something, whether a phone or a car, we tend to notice options around us much more.
This works in ways we don’t really want as well. If I were to think that my husband was annoying (heaven forbid!), I would find many MORE opportunities where little and big things that he did, said or expressed probably would get under my skin.
When you focus on what you don’t want (him being annoying), you tend to notice it more. The mind doesn’t understand “don’t” so it gives us MORE when we want LESS.
Let’s just say that I started acknowledging my husband in a different light. That he thinks differently than I do, and that’s one of the reasons I was attracted to him in the first place. He gives perspectives that augment my world, like another resource or specialist in a different area. How do his words or actions appear within the mind now? A lot LESS annoying, MORE intriguing perhaps.
We can turn this on ourselves – often the person we’re even more critical of than we are of others.
While “eat less chocolate cake” tends to bring attention to the tasty dessert, and “be less anxious” tends to bring to our attention our nervousness, taking a step back and focusing on what we want more of tends to access the forward-directing force of the subconscious. Health, vitality, appreciation of food (which tends to slow us down and reduce our portions), calm, control (on a situation by situation basis to start), and self-knowing all may be words/ideas that we’d like more of – and when we think there, we tend to go there.
Another word for bad habit… (or taking the pressure off)
While shifting words from what you don’t want to what you do want is a valuable starting step, another elemental idea is the refocus of our ‘bad’ habits. While we can use diagnostic terms such as “compulsive”, “addicted”, or “obsessive”, they seem to miss the benefits of habits.
If you have a habit, especially a long-held one, you have a commitment and dedication that non-habited people don’t have. Especially in the light of obstacles – a smoker increasingly must commit to this habit as sections and sanctuaries decrease in society – this shows a strong disposition for determination.
It may not be what you want, but the skills you have in creating that habit are very useful during the change process and in establishing new and more supportive patterns. And by looking at habits in this way, it can often take away the shame or helplessness of a habit. Who doesn’t want to be determined or committed to something good in their lives?
If you can weather the storm of personal, professional or social discomfort for the sake of that habit, you’ve got an ability to stick to something – hypnosis is just one of the easiest ways to shift in a different direction so you can get more of what you really need and want right now and into the future.
The Flexible Goldilocks
One thing I remember from the fairy tale of the Three Bears is Goldilocks saying something like “This bed/chair/porridge is too hard/big/hot; this bed/chair/porridge is too soft/small/cold” when finally she said “and this one is just right”. Sometimes our search for something MORE or LESS is great to explore where or what we really want for ourselves.
At the same time, sometimes we are influenced by external sources – whether people, media, society, expectations – and we base our search for the perfect “porridge” using an example that might be very ‘on-trend’, but may not suit us at all.
While more shoes or less weight may seem like the siren’s song in magazines, it may not be helpful in the bigger picture of what we want or need. A single pair that we love and feel comfortable in, or finding a weight that makes us feel energetic and strong without jeopardizing our health and wellbeing, may be a more refined and personally fitting goal.
Sometimes when we tease out other influences and expectations, we might find that we’re nearer or “just right” than we thought we were, or can find our own, individual path to the desired destination, that doesn’t necessarily follow the crowd.
One foot forward?
If you’re not a rabbit how do you move forward? With a single step.
While hypnosis can often speed up the change process, it’s helpful to realize that even the speedy and transformational subconscious needs more than one step to get where it needs to go.
Why? Usually because the shifts that we make on the inside take a little time to take effect on the outside. While we may make better food choices for our bodies, it may take some time to add or release weight from our bodies in safe and lasting ways. When we shift our perspective about work or about abilities, it sometimes takes time for others to make mental leaps to catch up to us, so our environment may need time to adjust.
Often the most content and successful individuals have taken their ‘laundry list’ of things they want to change, and have chosen one area that would make the most positive impact in their lives – and have taken that important step. Sometimes other areas shift simply because of the direction of change; sometimes a new focus, based on success from the first change, starts the virtuous cycle again.
Most people who want changes in their lives didn’t just ‘fall off the horse’ yesterday or last week – most habits that seem to plague us have been simmering for a while. And while we may want “More Now!” or “Less Now!”, an openness, curiosity and self-compassion for the process usually allows for the discovery of even greater treasures within.
One step you can take to get MORE of what you want or need in different areas of your life, with LESS time or frustration is to use hypnosis for change. Contact me to make an appointment to get started in the direction you’re meant to be heading in for 2018.