Nearest and Dearest

So, February is the month of lurve… Have you noticed that sometimes the people who are closest to you are sometimes the people who are the most difficult to love?

Or maybe you’re just not ‘feeling it’ for yourself – you’re not *this* enough, or too *that* – and it doesn’t feel like it’s working (but you’re having trouble breaking up with yourself!) Here are a few tips from the subconscious mind that might get the relationships in your life back on track

Love in a different language?

My husband and I refuse to leave the house on Valentine’s Day. I will keep my views to myself (there’s a first for everything!) but suffice it to say, many of the trimmings of this mid-February holiday seem a little ‘much’ for me. Yet even with recusing myself from the scene, I am still left with myself and another. And two totally different heads with different ideas of ‘love’.

I have suggested the Gary Chapman book “The 5 Love Languages” before, because it still seems relevant. My husband and I speak different languages of love. If it were an actual national/dialectical language, this would be obvious to us – our communication would need some translations or greater understanding. However, the language of love is more subtle. So you can imagine what a different, ‘perfect’ evening would be for someone who perceives love through acts of service or quality time, compared to someone who perceives love through words or appreciation or touch. They are two totally different events!

When we spend a moment to parse out the content of another’s perfect language from our own, things start making sense. Sitting cuddled up on the couch watching TV is a touch person’s love, rather than a quality time person’s failure to connect. Sometimes if we take the time to review and learn another’s language, we may see love shining through the misunderstanding. And we may be able to start to bridge the language barrier to greater connection and love.

So close yet so far away

Similar to the adage that charity begins at home, I believe that love begins at home too. And when I speak of home I mean YOU – that internal relationship with have with ourselves. Can you look in the mirror and express love for yourself without internal backlash?

Ok, maybe take a smaller step and close your eyes for a moment and say “I love you” to yourself. How does it feel? Cheezy? Uncomfortable? Just plain wrong? Sometimes our greatest critics are lodged between our ears.

This may have been transferred from earlier relationships in our lives or may be learned through our experiences. Our subconscious mind is protective and it may feel less hurt if we berate ourselves first rather than hear criticism or cruelty from others. (As in “too late – I already told myself I was a loser – you can’t make me feel badly”)

But this protective function (which started with good intention), like an autoimmune disorder, sometimes overwhelms and hurts us in the long run. So maybe it’s time to shift that hyper-vigilant ‘nasty’ self to one that is a bit more inline with that you need or what now. This starts with understanding – that an aspect of ourselves is, in fact, trying to support and protect us, or keep us sharp.

And then the next step is to start to see ourselves more clearly. The loveable and wonderful humans (who make mistakes to learn) that we are. Imperfect yet able, we may learn to put our internal weapons down for greater reach and growth for our future.

Hypnosis can Help with Loving your Relationships…

If you need some suggestions or ways to love yourself or others in a different or better way, speaking directly to the subconscious mind is a quick and easy way to help you positively connect with the relationships within and around you. If some of the other aspects of your life are putting pressure on your ability to love or relate, hypnosis can help as well. Schedule a session or discounted bundle so that you can start loving more easily and authentically. Let me know how I can help… Jennifer

 

“Everyone’s in love with love and I love you.” (old song I can’t find the reference to!!!)

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