My mother and niece were recently in a crash that totaled the car and had them, literally, ‘up a tree’. I am so lucky to have them still with me. The initial shock of the incident transformed to disbelief when I looked at the photos of the car which then flooded into relief about their safety… a flurry of emotions that the human, subconscious mind can exhibit within a very short period of time.
Sometimes we have opportunities where we become highly conscious of the important and valuable things in our lives, moments where the regularly patterned emotional assumptions are suddenly broken and we become aware of what we possess that is truly precious in our lives.
This month I’d like to chat about the perspective and power of the subconscious mind in both the existence of and focus on the ‘precious things’ in our lives and how we can help create programs that keep this ‘top of mind’ so we can feel enriched without the need for a calamity to put us there.
Counting our Gold Pieces
Interestingly, the accident happened just after I dealt with a number of bills that had been piling up over a period of time. I had become acutely aware, as many entrepreneurs often are, that cashflow is a very important and ‘flexible’ state. I was looking at my bank balances and questioning my financial wealth. And I know I’m not alone. Often this is where our focus lies and sometimes we calculate the bottom line as our “worth”. If polled on the street, we would probably list our family, friends, political stability, clean air, health etc as being important to us. However, in our daily actions, the urgency of money flow in and out of our lives often gets more attention. There’s a saying, ‘the squeaky wheel gets the oil’, so at certain times in our life our focus on our ability to float monetarily takes precedence.
A phone call from home changed all that. Instantly other worries took a back seat to the crisis and, more importantly, the people at hand. On the plane back to see my family, I was amazed at how work, even a work I love and am committed to, didn’t count as highly as the people and relationships in my life. They say at the end of life, few people say that they wished they had spent more time at the office, but how do we count our precious nuggets in our daily lives right now?
While one of the advantages and main uses of hypnosis is to ease a conscious struggle and help it flow under our awareness, sometimes we benefit from certain patterns or focus to eek into our awareness more often. If something is working, be it a relationship or hobby or way of life, we ignore it rather than praise or celebrate it. As a safety feature for historic survival, we’ve often been programmed to prepare to the worst, rather than accept the bonuses that inevitably exist in our lives. I know that I’m guilty of that – often we assume others know that we love and care about them, so we just let it slide without acknowledging it. We’re then left with “I should have said something/showed them I was I cared for/was proud/loved them.” when it’s too late.
This suggestion will start out as a conscious exercise, but begins to be a subconscious pattern with repetition. Write down a list of five people/things that are really important to you (for this, please exclude “paying off my credit card” and focus on human/connection aspects). Is there something you can do for them – like thanking them or telling them you love them? Is it something or someone you haven’t spent time with and would love to reconnect with? Maybe it is just thinking of them fondly and ‘paying forward’ actions or beliefs that are important to them. Whatever it may be, aim to act on one of the items on your list each week – when you run out, make another list of five, or more. See how this changes the way you feel.
Near Misses, What Ifs and If Onlys
When I look back at my live, there are so many times when I’ve sailed through when I ‘should’ not have done so. Yet these ‘lucky’ escapes often don’t get much thought or recognition. Instead, I have found myself contemplating the times when I came up short, or made the wrong decision, or shoulda/coulda done something differently but didn’t, with negative results.
Once again, it may be an internal protection that reprimands us, so that we don’t repeat our mistakes. But the mind doesn’t necessarily translate this doomsday focus as such in our awareness. As I mentioned in my October 2003 newsletter, lucky people have as many downs as unlucky people, they just seem to focus broadly on the positive and feel that they have the ability to turn ‘bad luck’ around. They work with different game plans, and are open to new/different experiences. Remember that we tend to believe what we say about ourselves and we need to accept that our mistakes in life – with people, in business, in choices, in life in general – may not be roadblocks to our future success. Instead, they make the tapestry of our life more exciting, courageous, and tested, and provides us with great fodder for heroic stories at the end of the day, when we look at them in a compassionate and muted light.
Settling the Score?
I know people who feel that bad things that happen to a person are because of something they did to others. Others believe that there has to be a leveling effect in life – when we have too much happiness, it has to be metered by tragedy. I’d like to not believe – mostly it’s because it inspires me to keep moving forward with anticipation in my life, unparalized by my past mistakes. These regrets, as they happened without the complete information we currently have (20/20 hindsight), can provide us with lessons to move on from, in a wonderful, one-time experience called life. If you can look at a young child and give them another chance when they’ve flubbed up while learning something, then we all deserve to give ourselves the chance to rocket upward into a happier, healthier future, in spite of our mistakes.
I’ll share with you a little exercise that I’ve started doing which often sets a very positive tone for my sleep or my day. As I’m drifting off to dreamland, or reluctantly acknowledging that my morning alarm is not going to stop through my will, I imagine my precious things. My mom and niece are there in the top ten, yet things like my good health, my strong body, my sharp mind, my house/transport/office, and even the aspects of my job that seem to have a positive ripple effect in the world all get acknowledged. It’s not something that takes up hours of my day – the subconscious mind is a faster processor than that – but a few minutes are enough for me to be thankful for those blessings in my life.
Sometimes they inspire me to connect with a friend (or strangely enough they connect with me – ah the power of synchronicity), often it just mutes the small annoyance that may cross my path, or it simply puts a smile on my face, which is enough of an result for me to want to do it again.
I’m happy for my good health, family, friends and life. And remember, you are very, very precious.