I was listening to an audio book, “You Are a Badass” and heard the phrase “this is good because…”
Usually in the work we do with the subconscious mind we aim to avoid the word ‘because’; however, in this situation it seems like a powerful way of working with different parts of the mind. And this is good because…
Making Sense of the “Crazy”
The conscious mind is the rational mind that likes to make sense of the world around us. It asks the question – why? And answers with – because…
The sometimes challenge is that the ‘reason’ for many things is often based on limited information. When people try to explain why they do what they do, or why they haven’t been able to start or stop a habit, they will go into their rational minds to find an answer.
While the answer may be the ‘truth’, often there are situations, influences and factors that lie beyond our conscious memory, so we’re working on limited understanding. Often the result of an uncovering within the subconscious mind astonishes people into saying “I had NO idea that was the reason behind it!”
The rational mind rationalizes, trying to find sane and reasonable motives for our actions, feelings and thoughts, and it’s working all the time.
Try this out – “why did I buy…(something that was a little extravagant/non-‘you’/something you already had)?” You might have some really good answers up your sleeve, but if you wanted to answer it emotionally or ‘from the gut’ would there be others?
Let’s take a pair of headphones I recently bought – do I have others? Yes. But the sound quality on these is superior and they are more comfortable to use when I’m recording… and they were a cute red… and they had this neat swivel thing I’d never seen before… you get the picture.
So our rationalizing gets it wrong many times (or paints an incomplete picture), yet it can also be used in a useful way.
Bubbling Pot of Thoughts
When you start asking why and giving reasons, the conscious mind has to get creative. It needs to think of ways to make sense of what we’ve just done, thought, felt or said. So this is where the beginning of the sentence “this is good because” is so expedient.
Say you left your phone at home and needed to go back to pick it up. It might be extra time, inconvenient or simply seen as a pain.
However, if you said “this is good because…” the mind starts inserting new options into the scenario – now I can have the coffee I also left, add the jewelry/watch I wanted to put on, look at the GPS to figure out which is really the best option to get to work this morning, have a couple minutes to think about the upcoming day…?
Whatever you fill in is your own, yet the creative mind will aim to find answers to this question.
I’ve always been amazed by people who talk about the greatest challenges or setbacks in their lives as being their greatest wake-up calls or opportunities for the future. A health scare that forced a slow-down and reconsideration of choices is one that pops up again and again. Admissions of “If I hadn’t had that ‘lump’ I don’t think I’d still have my loving family and be doing what I’m so enthusiastic about”, allow for the possibility that a ‘bad’ thing may not be so ‘bad’.
And the end of the sentence is…?
I’d like to think of myself as angelic, yet I’ve found my mouth filled with some bitter and negative words over the years of which I’m not so proud. My general optimism is sometimes tested and I fail; falling into unhelpful patterns of the past, worst-case scenarios, woe-is-me thinking, or a pre-worrying state. It doesn’t look or feel good on me.
However, the more options we have for getting ourselves out of these molds, the more chances we have of turning it into emotional alchemic gold.
So instead of running down the rabbit hole, I stop, take a breath, and say, “hold on a second, this is actually good because…” Sometimes I have to wait, with the “ssssseeeeee” lingering in the air.
Sometimes it comes to me instantly. Whatever the speed, it tends to come. Sure, sometimes it might sound a bit sarcastic, so do it again. It doesn’t have to be big, or earth shattering.
Remember that a tiny or minor adjustment in space flight can mean the difference between landing on or missing a planet!
Set a Course, Go There…
And in that redirection, you’ll find yourselves with hints and ideas on how to actually find the good and ‘make it so’. There are a few things that make this practice easier to do. It gives the emotional system a bit of a kick – the positive options tend to chemically give us a small and temporary, yet present lift.
And the subconscious mind likes it (as long as it’s ok for us to feel good, but that’s another topic). And these little bursts of positivity, repeated over time, become habitual responses and new patterns.
When these become ingrained into the subconscious, there may be no need to state the turnaround statement anymore – the mind will automatically look for the better side of the situation all by itself.
We’re not talking about ignoring important negative consequences to our actions that may teach us something (there’s good in that!) but looking more clearly at the way of the world, which isn’t as ‘black and white’ or absolute as we may simplify it (another conscious mind favourite).
Instead we can look at the rainbow of colours that may reveal a palette of lessons, experiences, new options and strengths.
One of my favorite conversations from Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland” takes place at a fork in a road:
Alice: “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
Alice: “I don’t much care where.”
Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
However, if you do care where you go, especially mentally and emotionally, there are several ways to get there, and this simple internal dialogue is one of them.
So now you’ve read to the end of this article. This is good because…
Enjoy the new possibilities waiting at the end of your sentences. If you need any support in making them, please contact me directly.