No really, this is a message from Jennifer in 2013, coming up on a decade after May 2004. Why am I writing this now? Because it seems that I was too busy to write my newsletter in the early millennium and a few years later I thought that I’d ‘fill in the blanks’ along the way, finishing with this oldest gap.
I’ve also been talking (for the last 10 or so years, I believe) about the amazing idea that our body’s cells replace themselves at different times and in different cycles. However within 9 years (from what I recall, it’s about 7 years generally), each of our cells have been replaced. So I’m physically a different person from the one in 2004 – there’s not a cell that’s the same. So am I still me? If the cells are all new, have I literally changed my mind completely? Over the years I’ve learned to reflect on this and have a few thoughts on time, change and the passing of the years.
So soon we forget?
I can tell you that many of the problems that were worrying me during May 2004 are probably far from my mind in 2013. But it doesn’t undermine the importance of the issues that concern us in the here and now, yet gives a bit more perspective. Is it a concern right now? Yes. Will it be a concern in a decade? Well… When we look outside of our immediate situation it can sometimes give our mind some space to imagine the relevant importance over time. Just like the pimples/spots that were so important during our adolescence, they are of little or no concern to most of us now. If we had stayed in our teen mind (gack), then a skin anomaly would set us into a whirling emotional storm, but now we deal with it and keep our eyes on other parts of our life that are more immediately important.
One of the best ways to get a new, quick perspective is to talk to a positive senior in your life. Remembering that a senior is just someone who has been down the road of your issue already (age may or may not be relevant). Positive, because we tend not to need additional nay-sayers or negativity in our lives (there seems to be enough already) – a good dose of realistic yet optimistic input helps with perspective. Because they’ve already had the experience, they can help you in looking at the bigger picture and get a hint to what’s on the other side. The subconscious mind works by association, so when we only look at the concerns or worries of starting out, then we can get into that rut. When we can see completion, lessons, having already gone through it, the mind can help us to associate with those achievements with greater clarity and perspective.
The more things change… the more they stay the same?
Have I completely changed over the last 9 years? In some ways yes, in others no. I’m still working and loving my job in Hypnotherapy, yet even that has morphed over time. I’ve moved countries, got married, have 4 (step) children… so there are a few shifts that have happened. Yet these are what we ‘do’ not who we ‘are’. Have I changed who I am?
This is the interesting part, where the rules of the mind kick in, and I can see how our biology can be affected by the way we think and feel through the subconscious, even when our cells have been replaced.
Focusing on what we DON’T want: There’s a saying ‘what we resist, persists’ which aligns with the rule that where our attention goes, our energy flows. I have had a lot of clients say “well, I DON’T want to be stressed/overweight/unhappy”. Unfortunately the mind doesn’t hear the word don’t, and so it continues with exactly what we don’t want. When we focus on the unwanted bulges of our body, the too many things to do, the times when we have been hurt or abandoned or unfulfilled, we tend to allow that to ‘fill up’ our thoughts and feelings, sending messages to our cells to do/feel more of the same. When what we really wanted was the opposite.
We blame outside ourselves: Sometimes it IS someone else’s fault, however, it is our reactions and responses that are recorded in our own bodies. You’ve probably heard of tension or stress headaches, or butterflies in the stomach when we are nervous. For every thought/feeling there is a physical response… So when we blame others (an individual, group, country, way of life) and feel negatively towards them, we are causing a chemical shift and patterning in our own body. So that means that our physiology is negatively impacted by not only the actions and inactions of others, but more severely by our reactions to them. And if we hold on to the belief that others will need to sort themselves out, or take back the words or undo the wrong, then we have no control over the messages we’re constantly sending our body. While the only thing we can control is us – our external-looking blame game binds us to greater stress and negativity – which get reproduced in our new cells (it’s the only message they are getting).
We let the ‘concept’ of who we are, continue to be who we are: “Who would I be if I weren’t so driven/overweight/responsible/manic/dramatic…?” It’s hard to imagine what life would be like with a different ‘us’ – our daily habits, feelings and thoughts tend to create a norm for us. And when we go outside of that familiar patterning, it’s as though a picture on the wall is skewed, and at some point, we must right it (back to the way things were). But imagine a young woman in 2004 getting the news that she is pregnant, births a child, who in 2013 is coming up on 8-9 years old… The child was actually just a concept back then, then became a baby, a toddler, and a child who continues to grow. At each stage the development process creates new learning and growing, new insights and beliefs, new feelings and relationships. If we continued to look at a child the same way as a newborn, that would be ridiculous, but we fail to realize in the same time period, we are learning and growing as well (it’s just that our outside packaging doesn’t change as much).
Creating Our Future – Inside Out
So what can we do to make the next years transformational, in the direction of our dreams? Here are a few exercises that might help you get a hold on redirecting your body/mind in the way you want:
- Do want, not Don’t want: become sensitive (or have a family member or colleague take on that job) – whenever you say what you DON’T want, rephrase it in the positive. “I don’t want to be stressed” to “I want to be calm, centred and relaxed.” “I don’t want to be scared of speaking” to “I speak with growing confidence.”
- If it’s out of your control, learn to let it go: The way others run their life, the hurts they have tried to affect you with from your past – they aren’t anything within your current (or future) control. Once you’ve learned the lessons that these experiences are telling you, it’s time to forgive and let go. Which means that the other person/group/idea doesn’t have control over you anymore and isn’t negatively impacting your cellular messaging for the future.
- Ask others ‘who am I”: Ask people from different aspects of your life to list any unique capabilities or areas where you have strengths above others and be prepared to be pleasantly surprised. I did this exercise and it was one of the most self-affirming exercises. It can also give clues where your strengths are and where you may want to direct some of your energy to capture those abilities and capacities.
But just in case you’re wondering about the future – it’s going to be brilliant!